Fashion Expert

Haley has taken to picking out her own clothes. Which really means that I get her dressed in the morning then throughout the day she brings me things that she wants to add to or change about her outfit. She comes up with some pretty cute combinations. Her most common thing is to wear pants with a dress. She loves dresses but then hates her legs bare and hates tights (I don't blame her) so she puts pants on underneath. I think it's pretty cute. Today she is wearing a shirt, dress, pants, and a too small vest. Without the vest, it's not so bad. But she loves the vest because it has a zipper. Somedays there are two pairs of pants that she wants to wear. When I won't put one pair on over the other, she just puts on pair on her head and is so proud of her new hat. I keep thinking if I just let her dress herself now, then she'll outgrow the desire, but somehow I think I'm just giving her more confidence in her abilities and we'll have many years of crazy outfits ahead of us.

Today I did Something I've Never Done Before

I've noticed something about myself. Whenever Jason is sick, I am far from sympathetic. I do one of two things. First, and most often, I think he's faking it and just doesn't want to go to work. So, then I'm just mad at him and fight instead of doing what I should by taking care of him. How horrible is that?
Or, I acknowledge that he's sick but downplay how bad it is, being excited that he stayed home to play with me or with the kids. Then I demand his attention or make him help with the kids or whatever when really I should just let him rest and get better.
Anyway, today he is sick. Since I've realized how utterly bad I am at taking care of him, I've tried to do better. Tried not to be demanding or mean or make him do anything, etc. But, around lunch time, I couldn't help but take advantage of the fact that he is home. He and Britton were both in bed (Britton is sick too) and Haley was down for a nap, so I snuck away and did something I've never done before--I went out to eat by myself.
There's a little Chinese place that I love close to our house. They have a lunchtime buffet, but I rarely get to go to it because we hardly ever eat out and when we do, it isn't lunchtime. So, I took a book and went. It was so nice just to have some alone time to sit and think and read and eat and people watch. Although, I didn't do much people watching because I was pretty into my book and tucked back into the corner booth. But, I was forced to watch for a few minutes because there was a funny lady who seemed to know everyone and she would yell across the restaurant to talk to them. I think this particular place attracts a pretty steady crowd for lunch from the surrounding businesses.
I was having a great time, I could've stayed there all afternoon, but after about 40 minutes, it started to get more crowded and as a few people were waiting at the door I could just tell they were thinking, "Why is that girl hogging a whole table all to herself, just sitting there reading and taking her own sweet time?" So, I decided to be polite and pack it up and go home to take care of my sick ones. Luckily, they are all still sound asleep and it wasn't an inconvenience on Jason who is trying to recover.

Annoying Habits of My Mind

My brain has some annoying subconscious habits. I'm sure that everybody has something that their brain thinks about when they are not thinking. For me, it's numbers. And more specifically, counting. I catch myself doing it all the time. Just counting. By ones, twos, fours, in French, in English, it does matter, I just count things. I was reminded of it again this morning as I was unloading the dishwasher. I caught myself counting and categorizing the different types of dishes. I don't think it's quite normal (or very useful, for that matter). I also always analyze series of numbers. Whenever, I see numbers I try to figure out the pattern (even if there isn't one, I make one up)--with phone numbers, zip codes, account numbers, whatever. I can always figure out a way that the numbers "make sense" together.
I do the same thing with words, as well. I try to find patterns in them. Palindromes are my favorite. I have a fascination with them. Probably because there is a pattern--they're the same forwards and backwards. I always notice words that are palindromes and more particularly (and this is where it gets a little weird) words that are ALMOST palindromes. And I always feel sad for them that they are so close to being a such a cool word. Especially when it's names of things, I think it's a real tragedy that they didn't give it more thought and make the name a palindrome. Like Nissan, for example, could have easily been Nissin or Nassan. Or Toyota could have been Toyot or Atoyota. Okay, I admit that those sound a bit silly, but this is what my brain does when I'm not thinking about something. It sees a word and wants to change it to a palindrome. I just might be crazy.

Ready or Not, Here I Come

Playing games with kids is the funniest thing ever. Britton loves playing Hide and Seek, but he's really bad at it. He picks the same hiding spot every single time (his closet). Sometimes, he tells me that he's going to hide somewhere else, maybe to trick me, but then he ends up hiding in his closet anyway. Also, if I don't find him quick enough, he starts yelling, "I'm in here!" I don't think he really understands the rules so much.
When I'm hiding, it's even better. He can run right passed me and not see me. It's hilarious. He'll look in every room in the house and not think to look under something or behind something. It's funny. And then, if I pick a really good hiding spot, once he's found me, he'll use that same spot for his next hiding place. Pretty predictable. But, he laughs so much and has so much fun that I can't resist playing with him.
One time Jason and I were still in bed and he came in wanting to play. So, we told him to go count and we would hide. We were both too lazy to move so we just pulled the blankets up over our heads. I thought it was way too obvious, but it took him quite a while and several times coming into our room before he found us. And I think we were both laughing even before it occurred to him to lift up the blanket. So much fun.

Haley's Funky Hair

How Do You Like Your Eggs?

Yesterday afternoon, Jason and I were just hanging out in the Family Room watching the Olympics and doing stuff on the computer. The kids were off playing and we were happy they were entertaining each other.
After a little while, Jason got up to help Britton in the bathroom and I heard him say, "What were you thinking? Just stay right there." It was obvious that he was more than a little upset about something which usually means the kids have made a mess. So, I ran in to see what the damage was. Haley was standing there with an empty carton of eggs and all of them smashed all over the kitchen floor. I honestly had to keep myself from not laughing because Jason was so upset and I didn't want him to also be upset with me. He kept asking "what were you thinking?" which to me was a pretty silly question to be asking a one year old. Even if she would respond, I'm sure he wouldn't be happy with her answer. What is a good answer to that question anyway? I'm pretty sure I know exactly what she was thinking--that it's pretty cool that eggs can smash like that and she's sure lucky no one is in the room to stop her before she gets to test every single one.
I tried to calm Jason down a bit and I calmly added that I doubt she was the only one to do it at which point Britton yelled from the bathroom, "I did it too". I love that kids don't know how to lie at this age. While Jason was trying to "reason" with our kids and discipline them and get answers from them, I just started cleaning it up. It really wasn't that bad, and I'm sure they had a blast doing it. The night before we were at my mom's and Britton was helping her cook. He accidentally dropped an egg and he said, "It cracked down and spilled all over!" He was amazed by it. I don't think he had ever seen an egg crack before. So, I'm sure when he came across a whole carton of eggs he was more than thrilled to be able to experiment with his new found knowledge.
My only regret is that the batteries in my camera were dead and I didn't get a picture of the whole thing.

Romantic(?) Valentine Adventure

Around 5:00, Jason called from work to tell us to meet him in Springville to go up to the cabin. The day before, he had built a sled out of some plywood, some old skis, and a chair. He built it to be pulled by the snowmobile to carry extra people and stuff up to the cabin. So, he really wanted to test it out.
So, I bundled up our kids and we headed out to meet him. Once we met him, we still had 3 stops before we could head up the canyon--to get pizza, to fill up the gas cans for the generator, and to buy firewood. By the time we got up there, it was pretty dark and really cold.
We drove as far up as we could make it, then unloaded the snowmobile and sled. The four of us piled on the snowmobile. For some reason, Haley was really scared of it. She got all stifflegged and wouldn't sit down on my lap. She calmed down a bit, but I don't think she enjoyed the ride at all. Jason dropped us off at the top of the driveway while he rode ahead to check things out. As I started walking, my first step sunk into the snow and it went up to my thigh. So, I stood there stranded with two little kids in the cold and dark. Britton wanted to run up ahead, but I didn't want him to leave me in case he sunk in the snow or got lost in the dark. I pulled myself out and started walking, carrying Haley and holding Britton's hand, sinking with every step. When we finally got down the the cabin, the door was completely blocked with snow. So, we had to climb onto the deck and go through the back door. It hardly seemed worth all the work it took to get there. But, it was kind of cool looking out the windows and seeing the big snow piles all around us--being snowed in.
After we were all settled, I made a fire in the wood stove and we all huddled on the couch with blankets and pillows. As we stared at the fire, listening to Britton's stories and snuggling, I realized that this was probably the best Valentine's Day ever. Just being with the three people I love the most.

Back by Popular Demand...

Tonight at the BYU basketball game, they had my all-time favorite half time show. It was even better than the bikers and the jumpropers--both shows that are highly entertaining. And much, much, much better than the Cougarettes who bore me before they even get out onto the court.
Today, back by popular demand, was "Jane's Golden Girls". It's a group of about 75 women ages 50-89 that do dance routines. And they are a hoot. There's just something about old ladies that makes me smile--and old ladies that dance--that's a real treat. They did a number called, "Honky Tonk Attitude". They were all dressed in cowboy attire. Their routine was much like line dancing but also included many shimmyings and high kicks. They even started taking off the ropes around their necks and danced around kind of stripper style. That was definitely a show stopper.
But, the highlight of the whole number occurred after it was all over. The ladies started exiting and they announced, "And here's Jane, 89 years young". Jane took center stage and the music came on again and she got a few minutes for a solo. She kicked and shaked and danced about ending the whole thing with the splits. The crowd went wild! Cosmo ran out, danced with her a bit, then scooped her up and carried her off. What a fun lady!
I've never been much of a dancer, but I'll definitely be counting down the days until I turn 50 and can join Jane's Golden Girls.

Forgiveness and Love

I believe that the purest and truest act of love of all is forgiveness. Maybe this is obvious to everyone else, but it took me a very long time to realize. And I think that may be why forgiveness--true, real forgiveness--is so hard for us. Human nature is such that when we get hurt, the easiest response is to get angry. And when I've been hurt, I put up walls. And when walls are up, it's not too much longer until hatred follows and I want to hurt the person that is causing me the pain. I want them to feel a bit of what I am feeling. Even if this person is someone that I supposedly love. My pride and anger at being hurt keep me from being able to forgive. And the more I've been hurt, the longer I think I should wait to forgive. For some reason, it seems like there should be a certain forgiveness waiting period assigned to each offense. The worse the offense, the longer it should take to forgive. But, really, we know if we're eventually going to be able to forgive, so why not do it immediately? Does it really help at all to have that waiting time where anger and hatred lingers? Of course, I'm writing all of this because this is something that I struggle to do. It's not easy to "forgive and forget". And sometimes (most of the time) I don't even really want to. I think I try to hang onto anger and pain because it doesn't seem fair that someone could hurt me and then I would just forgive. But, maybe that's what love is--not being fair. Treating someone better than they deserve to be treated. I think that most people see people who get hurt and don't hurt back as "weak". But I think those who get hurt and are able to forgive are the strongest people in the world. Because forgiving and cultivating love is much harder than being angry and hurting back. And the more we answer with love, the more we're filled with love and the stronger we get.